What Does One Do when.

God gives you a Vision. And that Vision is almost impossible to see right now. From every angle. When everyone around you says it won’t happen. I know God can’t lie. Won’t lie.
But maybe the fault lies with me hearing it correctly?

Update 2019: Yes Oscar, the fault lay in hearing it incorrectly.

There are things I wish for

I wish i could have changed.

ways I could have implemented.

places I’d never had to go.

people I wanted to meet.

Call’s to be made

scenes of life i wanted to hear

Words i could have read

acts of faithful deeds

Days I could have seen early

if I had spent my Nights early

Hours invested knowing the true

meaning of life

Speaking to the one who really cares

Answers that I wanted to say,

questions I Could have asked.

People being saved.

Eternal destinies changed

Meat that could have been eaten

instead of milk that is needed

The root word being could.

in the past tense,

And in the present:  I didnt.

right now makes the difference between the present and the next second

I have got to change.

Now, its too late to try

i pictured a man writing this just before he is thrown into eternal damnation.
Now
i can see it in His eyes
wish i didn’t believe in those lies
i knew what it meant
to take that road down
trust me now.
Its filled with resentment.
I’ve seen the end of it all
the rich, the poor
even the big and small.
The famous and infamous
all who ever walked in Time
came down to a single stroke in eternity
Solomon was truly wise-
Everything else is Vanity.
Continue reading “Now, its too late to try”

Rom 1:16-17

Hey everyone. Just another update.

Work is going on good.I finished editing video for 31st May. The VCD’s should be out on this coming sunday.

My walk with God is getting strengthened. If not anything else, I’m getting bolder day by day. Sometimes I fall and guilt takes over, but according to the Word, Guilt is never from GOD.

God’s been helping me understand what unconditional love really means.I know I can never fully understand it. But I have a tinsy little idea. I cant do anything to to get God to Love me more. And I cant do anything that will make Him to love me less. 

But I need to get better in my walk with God. Need to pray and read so much more. The world is such a hopeless place without Jesus.I see beggars and the poorest of people everyday. Today a lady came by the office and she asked for some food. Usually one does see people begging, but this lady was different. She was an old woman,frail and helpeless. I dont know if you will understand what I’m saying here, but be with me here or atleast try to.

When I saw into her eyes I saw a broken life,fear and hopelessness. I saw pain and anger. But more than anything else she was hopeless for her situation. 

The world tells me that I’m supossed to help the poor in whatever way I can.Compassion for their situation is good. But what about their soul? Who cares about their eternal life? They call us ‘fanatics’ and ‘narrowminded’ when we give them the Gospel. The Bible tells me in Rom that the Gospel is the power of God unto salvation.

 

Romans 1:16

 

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

So tell me what am I doing wrong when I tell them that they dont have to live a life without hope. That poverty,sickness,fear has been nailed to the Cross. That their life is meaningful because God died for them. That the living God who created the Earth and the Heavens cares for that old woman. That the people living on Earth dont have to enter a Godless eternity. 

I’d rather be a fool to everyone else by preaching the Gospel than be called wise in the World. I’m not Ashamed of the Gospel. I owe it to the people around me. What about you?

God, who makes things grow.

I was initially going to blog about my dinner with my classfriends that happened on Mondayevening. But something more in terms of importance has come up.After three years of being placed in Dahisar/Borivili , things are about to change.I believethe Lord has used Shannon as a medium to teach/love/correct and encourage us in his Kingdom.

I learned a few days back that Shannon will be moving out as our HC leader and Arun and Samwill be taking over Dahisar and Borivili. Im a bit sad because I will miss the company of who was my mentor for a very crucial part of the begining years. If it hadn’t been for Shan,I would have made a lot of mistakes and if it hand’t been for God I would have had done far greater ones.

I owe a lot to Shan and Farah, but I believe that even though I will miss him in everything I do from now onwards, we have this special bond that will not break just because of this administrative change. Shannon will continue to love and pray for me and I for him and Farah.

Now I look forward to learn and love Arun. Arun and Shannon are not the same persons, so what I learned from Shannon was good, but now I can learn from Arun and Sam, which I think will be good. Basically, we are all under one house, under one shepherd, one Lord all working to further the Kingdom of God. So it doesnt matter if I am under this one or that one.

As Paul writes in 1 Cor 3:1-15
4For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere men?
5What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe-as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. 9For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.

10By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. 11For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. 14If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.

So be it. Let God be the center of attention in my life and not men of God.

God has a knack of messing up plans for His Greater Good.

To God Be the Glory,Honor and Power , Forever and Ever.
Amen.

just a dot

the sun climbed the day
toward the west
as the world took rest
 a lady lay
on the cold bed of pain and sweat.
Bloodied hands took that was naught
to destroy that was to be brought.

As she fell asleep
in one corner,
the unbehest Figure starts to weep
over the murder
of HIS own dear.

A decade and 7 years on,
i hear the wrong
her sorrow, ringing with mine.

How i wish, i’d know you unborn
foetus,
today i mourned,
the death of my forlorn sis.

I’m ready now.

Today the Third years had our farewell in college. We took the 7.15 train and a lot of the old train gang was there. It reminded me of how I started my Degree College. Travelling in the train with a group of friends. LIfe did come full circle as Paras pointed out. We were ushered into college in the College Hall. Today a lot of us remembered it so. In the very same hall I was welcomed, I now say a thank you, not yet a good bye. I’m not dead yet..

The farewell was scheduled to start with a customary Chapel service at 10.00. I thought it was 10.30 and was sitting with God outside the Boys Common Room. I asked Eben to join me later. I love Eben, I dont think I could have gone past today without him.I’ll admit this- I cried a lot during the first prayer and couldnt sing the hymn ” count your blessings”. I really couldnt count them. I started to think of each and every one of them. By the time I hit 3 I couldnt sing anymore. our God is faithful, whether you like it or not he DOESNT CHANGE.
We then followed a routine of reading prayers and Sam Sir gave some quick but a powerful short message. Our Chaplain who is incidentally a woman, Aprana Rangaya gave one of the most delicate but well put talk on Psalm 23. She made it simple for everyone who sat there in the chapel. Afterwards we proceeded to the College Hall where our teachers served us food. I liked this part, not because I want to boast saying that “THEY had to serve US!” But simply because it reminded me of what Jesus did for his disciples – “Wash their feet and tell them to do the same.” My College is an excellent example of ‘servant hood”. Our Founder John Wilson gave up his dreams to fulfill a million other dreams . I dont know if they realize it. I sure do. They’ll be rewarded in heaven. A professor who did this without any mask was Prof.Sudhakar.

We have an amicable way of sitting facing each other and listening to any student who wants to talk about his life in college. Some were here for a couple of months,a lot who were just for 3 years, select few for 5 and One person who was there for 7. They were different people with different experiences. Some wrote it down others were bold enough to speak from their heart. it was largely in English although the students who wanted to speak in marathi and Hindi were welcome to do so and so they did.
The hall was packed with Graduating students.Very few sat till the last person said their little something. I’m glad God chose me to be a part of History of Wilson College.

I stepped into a pond a long time ago.As I did so,the water got all muddy, the dirt settled at the bottom had come loose and I could only see a very dirty place I was standing in. I prayed and Jesus came and took the muck away, it was painful. Today I stood in the pond and I can clearly see my feet. I can see what I stand on.Christ the bedrock.

I entered college alone
5 years on,
I leave with Christ
to fulfill His plan for my life. 

I realized who my real friends are today. It’s simple really. The ones who stick with you till the end.

Some of my friends
Some of my friends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Closest Friends
My Closest Friends

Supriya and M. A very special friend.
Supriya and Me. A very special friend.

-06 Days to go

 

College
College

 

 

With 7 days to go before College ends, I almost cried on the way back Home.

Today as soon as I got some time alone, I wrote down all the names from my class and prayed for them. I might not see all of them ever again. However with God all things are possible.

-07 Days to go

I dont want to get out of college so soon.But I dont think there is anything I can do. I wonder if I will come to college when I get bored, like Eben does. But then apart from Sherin there is no one to come back to. Everyone I know has either Graduated or is Graduating with me. I think thats a good thing.

Misha,Supriya,Elvis and I purposely keep lingering around the Department even after lectures are over. The profs get irritated now saying, “they dont want to leave now. Usually Oscar runs as soon as the lectures get over. they’ve begun to realize that they have one week left”.

I dont know if they are identifying with this, or making fun of our situation. if it is, then its a pretty mean thing to do.

Vinitha asked me, ” So tell me Oscar whar do you think about your teachers?”
I told her that I’d tell individually! and poor sould perked up her ears and said ,”Ok. Thats fine.” and waited for me to start.

I had to explain that I would talk to them seperately. She is cool with that.

I like her the best.  

Its a good thing that not many people read my blog. I can write whatever I want without worrying so much.

My College years

 

Time
Time

 

 

I warned all my friends online in December that I was gonna turn nostalgic and emotional as College ended. Some people absolutely hate it. I on the other hand am fine with them thinking so. This is the way I deal with things. I cry when I need to. There is nothing ‘less masculine’ about it. Jesus cried when he was full of sorrow.

10th or the 11th of Feb is the offical date for our Graduating students Farewell.

Im going to write a post for everyday till the 10-11th of Feb. Cheerio~