Now, its too late to try

i pictured a man writing this just before he is thrown into eternal damnation.
Now
i can see it in His eyes
wish i didn’t believe in those lies
i knew what it meant
to take that road down
trust me now.
Its filled with resentment.
I’ve seen the end of it all
the rich, the poor
even the big and small.
The famous and infamous
all who ever walked in Time
came down to a single stroke in eternity
Solomon was truly wise-
Everything else is Vanity.
Continue reading “Now, its too late to try”

How do you love me?

I’ve been so overwhelmed by the Love of God for a couple of weeks now. It seems as it never gets over. Like it never stops, never tired and never runs dry. I rememberd this poem by Elizabeth Browning- How do I love thee, and it reminded me of God’s love.

Browning wrote……

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and Ideal Grace.

This is mine…..

How did you love me? Can we ever count your ways?
You love me with an everlasting Love,
A love that can neither count nor stay
My soul cried Above
And God sent his only Begotten Son,
So that whosoever shall believe in him shall not Die
But have eternal life.

It’s not much, but it came to me so…

I didnt want it to seem as if I copied it so thats why I credited Browning in here.

I Love you Dada….

Is it? No! Well? Is it?

So its one of those times 
when i reminisence of certain things
that make you want to roll your eyes
Yes, it is back to  Zombie Girl, Miss.

why do i keep looking at you?
when clearly there isnt anything to see.
why should i even entertain the thought of you
when probably it will never be.

Why do i appear to be struck?
are you my stuck up
magnet?
I should really stop this fret.

Dont get all beat up about it,
I’m not back to her one bit.
I just rhymed because I saw it fit. 

I’ll tell you miss,
truly,one cant make good poetry out of this.

just a dot

the sun climbed the day
toward the west
as the world took rest
 a lady lay
on the cold bed of pain and sweat.
Bloodied hands took that was naught
to destroy that was to be brought.

As she fell asleep
in one corner,
the unbehest Figure starts to weep
over the murder
of HIS own dear.

A decade and 7 years on,
i hear the wrong
her sorrow, ringing with mine.

How i wish, i’d know you unborn
foetus,
today i mourned,
the death of my forlorn sis.

I’m ready now.

Today the Third years had our farewell in college. We took the 7.15 train and a lot of the old train gang was there. It reminded me of how I started my Degree College. Travelling in the train with a group of friends. LIfe did come full circle as Paras pointed out. We were ushered into college in the College Hall. Today a lot of us remembered it so. In the very same hall I was welcomed, I now say a thank you, not yet a good bye. I’m not dead yet..

The farewell was scheduled to start with a customary Chapel service at 10.00. I thought it was 10.30 and was sitting with God outside the Boys Common Room. I asked Eben to join me later. I love Eben, I dont think I could have gone past today without him.I’ll admit this- I cried a lot during the first prayer and couldnt sing the hymn ” count your blessings”. I really couldnt count them. I started to think of each and every one of them. By the time I hit 3 I couldnt sing anymore. our God is faithful, whether you like it or not he DOESNT CHANGE.
We then followed a routine of reading prayers and Sam Sir gave some quick but a powerful short message. Our Chaplain who is incidentally a woman, Aprana Rangaya gave one of the most delicate but well put talk on Psalm 23. She made it simple for everyone who sat there in the chapel. Afterwards we proceeded to the College Hall where our teachers served us food. I liked this part, not because I want to boast saying that “THEY had to serve US!” But simply because it reminded me of what Jesus did for his disciples – “Wash their feet and tell them to do the same.” My College is an excellent example of ‘servant hood”. Our Founder John Wilson gave up his dreams to fulfill a million other dreams . I dont know if they realize it. I sure do. They’ll be rewarded in heaven. A professor who did this without any mask was Prof.Sudhakar.

We have an amicable way of sitting facing each other and listening to any student who wants to talk about his life in college. Some were here for a couple of months,a lot who were just for 3 years, select few for 5 and One person who was there for 7. They were different people with different experiences. Some wrote it down others were bold enough to speak from their heart. it was largely in English although the students who wanted to speak in marathi and Hindi were welcome to do so and so they did.
The hall was packed with Graduating students.Very few sat till the last person said their little something. I’m glad God chose me to be a part of History of Wilson College.

I stepped into a pond a long time ago.As I did so,the water got all muddy, the dirt settled at the bottom had come loose and I could only see a very dirty place I was standing in. I prayed and Jesus came and took the muck away, it was painful. Today I stood in the pond and I can clearly see my feet. I can see what I stand on.Christ the bedrock.

I entered college alone
5 years on,
I leave with Christ
to fulfill His plan for my life. 

I realized who my real friends are today. It’s simple really. The ones who stick with you till the end.
Some of my friends
Some of my friends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Closest Friends
My Closest Friends
Supriya and M. A very special friend.
Supriya and Me. A very special friend.

-08 days

 

Dinner at Michelles place.
Dinner at Michelle's place.

 

 

Got back from Dinner with my class at my Head of Department, Michelle Philip’s house. She lives in Air India Housing Colony. There is a Jet Airways Plane parked ourside her lawn. Her house faces the runway. Yes, Eben would have loved to see the planes take off and taxi off the run way!

We played DumCharades and got into lots of controversies and fun! I think this is the third time(unfortunately) that my class has come together as ONE entity and participate in any event.  

My favorite professor Vinitha Matthews could not join us. She had a ‘do’ ( thats dinner for Vinitha) at the Principal’s. Honestly I dont think why anyone would willingly put oneself into any situation with him conversing over food. We missed her.

-10(minus 10) to 0 Day signifies the last 10 days of college. With 0 onwards signifying another era in my life.

My College years

 

Time
Time

 

 

I warned all my friends online in December that I was gonna turn nostalgic and emotional as College ended. Some people absolutely hate it. I on the other hand am fine with them thinking so. This is the way I deal with things. I cry when I need to. There is nothing ‘less masculine’ about it. Jesus cried when he was full of sorrow.

10th or the 11th of Feb is the offical date for our Graduating students Farewell.

Im going to write a post for everyday till the 10-11th of Feb. Cheerio~

My God

 

My God is a Great Big and Loving God

            Who would never ever hurt me.

 

When the world comes crashing down

            All hope seems gone away,

 

When you’re loved ones gone astray

            Hope seems like one in a light years away.

 

I will still cry out, Sing Praises to my King!

            Lord of Lords

                                    Jesus to you I sing!

 

Every tear is an offering

            Every hurt I take it in

To you I will still be faithful

For, God almighty, you are to me.

 

And when man fails, trust in you

            And I cry out in pain

Will I sing, like the barren woman

 

Everyday its you I live for

Everyday its you I long for

Jesus. Jesus.

 

Hope trickles down a tear

            down to a chin.

Fear, in my heart no more

            Love in you I will keep.

 

Once I tried an failed.

            God to you I come in tears.

 

Hope. What a fool I am

            Only fools believe,

                        Yet here I stand.

 

Love. What a fool I was

            Only fools believe

                        Yet Here I am.

 

I am writing for the truth of life

            To come and rest this uncertain times

In my heart.

I tell myself she’s not the one.

Yet a part of me refuses to again

 

Hope trickles down a tear

            Into an endless drain.

 

Thank God I’ve improved since then!! 😛

Old Stuff

Saw this entry in my diary. I started to maintain a Diary a couple of years ago, jotting down what I thought of our God. Thoughts translated into words, words flowed into verse. I now have three of them. Not all of them are filled with the above. Some have notes from lectures.:)

 15th June, Friday 2007.

“It’s beenTwo years since I’ve known Queenie. One full year after the break up…….”

I go on to ask God why it had to be so. I had loads of questions but very few answers.  One place it says ” If you please, one day let me smile down on what I’ve written with her” I don’t think that is ever possible. But, Hey! I’m smiling right? 

So “MY GOD” is one of the first songs I wrote for God.

Check these two out. Will post more when I get the time.

MY GOD

My Axiom

“Something like this only”

I looked at your face today
I realized When you smile
I feel like cuddling you, inside.

I stared at you yesterday
and when you didnt seem to notice
I rejoiced.
Or else you would think I was staring at your face.
I started to wonder why

I feel this
sometimes, I think I do.
I’ve toyed with the idea of telling you
but common sense forbids me so.Hence…

You dont complain a lot.
However, I’ll have you know
they are all for silly reasons
and I know this because I keep listening to you all the time.

We’re good friends
you and I
this something of a feeling
will just pass away and
these words will be just another draft
in my published folder.

If not for anything,
I think. And I just think,
I might have a little thing,
For You.

(I’ve been wanting to write “something like this only” ever since I’ve read Ezekiels poems on Love.Please do not ask who the poem is adressed to. I wont answer that.)