When lonely…

Feeling Lonely is a terrible feeling that can have varying results.  Being a loner and feeling Lonely are two diverse realities. If you are a loner, you cant be involved in being described as an ‘talker’ or a ‘hug whore’. However you can be feeling lonely, and not be a loner!

I could think of doing tons of things as to ‘kill’ my boredom. Take for instance where I am right now. I’m inside a Mall. But this is definitely not helping. Watching others walk around in pairs or groups avails much. Crossword-the bookstore didn’t help either. They didn’t have a good collection of books or Graphic Novels.

So why am I here? Not the place in my life but on this Lone Wodden Box? What are ‘ Lone Wooden Boxes’? Well they are seats/benches you see in Mall’s where people sit when they are lonely. This Mall has Wooden ones, hence the name.You probably think I got lonely and went to the Mall. NO. I’m here because I had time to kill. The reason of my loneliness is prayerlessness. So how do I get out of this situation? I definitely don’t want to pray since the lack of it got me here in the first place, I really dont want to do that right now.Or I could go ahead and start a conversation with one of these lovely women next to me. I could also flirt. I haven’t flirted in a long time. But the Ring on my finger forbids that irrelevant thought. And Hypocrisy is not my cup of tea. I could also run opposite on the escalators. But I’ll be tireder. So no can do. With less than 50Rs in my wallet I’m running out of ideas.

I checked out the washroom too, if you ever want to know how well a place is run, check the loo. My Observation at Oberoi Mall: Pretty good. So much aesthetically better than other malls. Also when you go to the loo do you notice how people always stare at you? Why do they want to do that? I’m not doing anything that mankind hasn’t done already!

Suddenly, I’m not lonely anymore. Why? I simply prayed to my Father in Heaven. After all He is faithful and just to forgive my sins as I confess it to Him.

So when lonely, pray.

Things to do before the 22nd of my 21st.: UpDated.

Things to do before the 22nd of my 21st.

1. Find out how many people find “hugs for no reason” as inappropriate. Not many.

2. Learn to ride a scooty. This one is invalid.

3. Grow a full beard.

4. Wear a pink shirt, to show the people that I can change. Done. Dec 31st.

5. Get Christine to hold a cockroach. 

6. Get eben to stand in front of Christine Holding a

cockroach.

7. To learn the Bass Guitar and start playing 

in Church for the LORD. Jan 4th

8. To master the Acoustic and to sing along in the right

pitch. And start playing For the LORD.

9. To get my breakthrough.  Done

10. To get my own laptop/ SLR Camera.

11. To write a script for an ad. Wrote two.

12. To come up with our Church’s Logo.

13. To get two laptop teams for Church

14. To get Bavan married.

15. To get Chris(my brother) to grow his hair.

16. To work my way up in the Kingdom.

17. To improve on my literary skills.

18. See if I still like Zombie Girl and whether God has

answered me. Conclusion:I dont like her anymore.

19. Start my own House Church.

20. Get min100 crowns from the Lord.

21. Buy a gift for Mom and Dad on their Anniversary.

22. Try and Drift in my Car. Done.

23. Give a huge offering to the Lord.

24. Buy something for all my friends.

25. Visit Assam and Delhi and also Sikkim.

26.Make another list for the 22nd of my 22nd.

(will add some later)

My Expressionist poem

Is it really oursto dictate

the terms and conditions

along the rolling credits

straining to see the imprint

on our lives?

 

Is not a big circle

never ending in its length

its diameter?

so wide and long 

that it can fit it all

the things that seem so endless

and it could fit a thousand letters.

 

It would seem that our lives

are govern’d by the scythe 

waiting to cut the thread

on which rests our life,

and fate decides

where we tread.

But of course there exists

no great folly as fate.

 

Nay we are govern’d

by Destinty

for it doesnt dictate

unlike Fate

as once again

there exists no such a thing.

 

All’s the world a stage

they say,(but)

I say its Improv Everwhere

its every decision you take

at every crossroad you make,

draws you one step close to the edge.

 

Will you embrace the fall

or hold you peace now and forever all?

A plea, written by me

 

I think I can

I think I will

Eby Eby

Please be forgiving me

 

I was such a Phool.

To take you so Cool

on a matter of the Dil

please understand still

 

How can thou be so mean 

in the season of

wee and glee

you see, I even changed my display

to a picture of you and me

For the previous drew was just a farce

so now come on fast fast.

 

Why can you and I

in this beautiful journie

go back to the days of Phraandship

Surely you have heard that it is indeed the BAST SHIP.

 

So once again I ask you

(for you) even go down on mera knee

Phorgive ME!

Give up Pepsi for …

I Love my Dada

I’ve decided to go slow on drinking Pepsi. So I have decided to lay off it for not one day, not two days, not three , not a week nor three but one entire month.

So here is your chance to poll on how long you think I will last. You have a week before I get back from Jaipur.Happy polling.

Edit: 24th Nov, 2008 12.00 IST

So its been a month now, and I have finished what I was off to do.

I went without Pepsi for a month. Now some of you have challenged my decision to stay off Pepsi saying that I drank other aerated drinks and as I have always maintained I decided what I had to stay off. It was not a bet that was undertaken. What it was none will ever know. Some have an idea of it. But why and what I did it for will be a mystery. I cant share that.

So I would like to thank my supporters and critics. Three supporters to be exact. However in accordance with the poll, no one voted ‘ one month’. A lot of my friends voted under a month while some voted over a month and two days. Thank you for your opinions, I shall try and incorporate more polls on G.O.D. Ta Ta and Good Day , Good Morning and Good Night to all you kind souls.

The Sun, Moon and about the stars that we cant see at Night cuz we live in a big polluted city.

You know sometimes
I get bored of the sun.
I’m glad the Earth revolves
and rotates and does all that it is supposed to do
day and night.
Then at times,
im a bit bored of the dark
and want the warmth
on my face again.
I’m tired and would like a bit of shade under that tree
and as darkness began
I quote “….miles to go before  I Sleep”

Your A Spirit with a Body.

Youre either living in the Spirit or the Flesh.

If you are living in the Spirit. You are automatically not living in the flesh. And if you are living in the Flesh you are automatically not living in the Spirit. Whether you like it or not.
Jesus told that we cant serve two masters. Who are you gonna be hooked under? I’ve made my choice. Have you?

Not a Goodbye, but Until Next Time

OK. I cant keep putting this off any longer.My Bestest Friend Christine left for Canada on A Monday Morning at 2.00 A.M. We were waiting with her for a couple of hours to see her Baggage cleared and stuff. You know, I can’t but envy her for being blessed with so many friends who came to support her. Eben, Vio, Gina, Paras and Adley came by train to the airport. I stayed back for the evening service. Also got to spend some time with her before the evening service. I’m still trying to imagine walking into a Choir practice on a sunday and not see Christine singing or laughing out loud. I can’t fathom not seeing a smiley face staring at me on a Sunday Morning. You see Christine has been one of the people who got me into the Church. True, Shannon and Justin have played and important role too. In fact, Church without any of them seems incomplete. Its like living without Pepsi.Know what I mean? You dont? Well you prolly dont deserve any Pepsi then.

I told myself that I will not cry at the Airport. I told myself that I will be strong for her. Yeah, tough chance. Shannon was the first one to cry tho. I think thats when Christine realized how much she meant to him. Then I guess *ahem* *cough*we all did, a bit. It hit me when she went in through the doors and I began to see her through a glass wall with a distance of more than 10 feet between us. Yeah, it hit me then! I would have preferred the pain of hitting the glass, but yeah thats that . I tried hiding behind a guy’s head but I realized that she could see me anyways. Justin was right next to me and we we’re in the same state. I don’t know why, but people were a bit taken back at this. I took a video of Christine hugging all of us who were at the Airport. I wot upload it, not now. Its incomplete. I have to finish the video, and that is only done when she gets back.
She got a lot of letters, yes. Justin even put a surprise gift(a letter and 2 pictures from Childhood) in her backpack. Di, Ebby,Paras, Vio,Adley and Gina wrote too.

It was an awkward Monday. I got up late, reached college on time for my lectures but I still couldnt get back into normalcy. I still dont think I am. How can one be? Things have changed. But Change isnt bad. Everything changes, even today isn’t the same as yesterday or tomorrow. But yes, Change isn’t   But I’m glad that shes going. She always wanted to do this. So In the same way, things have Changed.  But she’ll be back.

Surprises

Man I just love it the way you begin to grow and God surprises you. It’s been two years since I’ve come back to God and I can honestly say that the bumps have been painful but necessary. I have to be faithfull to God. God is everlasting and always loving. So he cannot stop loving me even when I sin. God never changes his stance towards man. Man is the one who changes his attitude.